MANAGE CONFLICT
WHY IT MATTERS
Inherent in every relationship are potential episodes of conflict. In the workplace, conflict between people and ideas will always exist and should always exist. It is on the other side of healthy conflict, the clashing of different ideas and ways of seeing the world, that the most correct decisions and actions are often discovered. Leaders that can manage conflict are able to harness the natural differences that exist between people to determine the best path to take. They help people work through their differences in a way that allows them to maintain a strong relationship. Leaders who can’t manage conflict allow healthy debate and disagreement to turn into disputes that inhibit the progress of the work and generate damaged trust and hurt feelings.
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
Leaders that manage conflict embrace it as a reliable source of solutions, creative ideas, and opportunities. They accept the fact that people are naturally diverse in how they think, feel, and act. They use people’s differences to their advantage instead of avoiding them. They know that on the other side of conflict lies the potential for greater unity, increased understanding, and real breakthroughs in thinking and performance. They don’t encourage conflict, but they also don’t back down from it.
Leaders that manage conflict understand that tension and contention are two different things. They see tension as a natural part of the creative process and something to be encouraged. They see contention as a negative human emotion that creeps into stressful situations and creates long-term damage in working relationships people. They embrace tension, and encourage swift resolution to contention.
Leaders that manage conflict have the ability to help people that are at an impasse with each other create bridges of understanding. They inquire into the thoughts and feelings of both parties, while staying neutral to the situation. Instead of acting like a problem solver, they act like a mediator. They know that there are always two sides to every story, and they help people see each other’s point of view and resolve their own problems.
Leaders that manage conflict confront it head on instead of letting it grow and fester. They know the most opportune time to resolve conflict is as soon as it begins. They believe the best time to confront something hard is now. When a conflict involves them personally, they take action to resolve whatever issues exist as soon as they become aware that something is amiss.
Leaders that manage conflict are able to hear hard messages without taking them personally or becoming offended. They are quick to give people the benefit of the doubt. They have the ability to maintain a cool head when others might become insulted. They move forward instead of holding onto grudges.
Leaders that manage conflict have the desire to create true win-win outcomes. They know that a key to managing conflict is compromise. They are open to the needs and wishes of others. They know that if they are realistic in their expectations, those on the other side of the confrontation will more likely meet them half way.
BELIEFS
BEST PRACTICES
SELF-REFLECTION
Inherent in every relationship are potential episodes of conflict. In the workplace, conflict between people and ideas will always exist and should always exist. It is on the other side of healthy conflict, the clashing of different ideas and ways of seeing the world, that the most correct decisions and actions are often discovered. Leaders that can manage conflict are able to harness the natural differences that exist between people to determine the best path to take. They help people work through their differences in a way that allows them to maintain a strong relationship. Leaders who can’t manage conflict allow healthy debate and disagreement to turn into disputes that inhibit the progress of the work and generate damaged trust and hurt feelings.
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
Leaders that manage conflict embrace it as a reliable source of solutions, creative ideas, and opportunities. They accept the fact that people are naturally diverse in how they think, feel, and act. They use people’s differences to their advantage instead of avoiding them. They know that on the other side of conflict lies the potential for greater unity, increased understanding, and real breakthroughs in thinking and performance. They don’t encourage conflict, but they also don’t back down from it.
Leaders that manage conflict understand that tension and contention are two different things. They see tension as a natural part of the creative process and something to be encouraged. They see contention as a negative human emotion that creeps into stressful situations and creates long-term damage in working relationships people. They embrace tension, and encourage swift resolution to contention.
Leaders that manage conflict have the ability to help people that are at an impasse with each other create bridges of understanding. They inquire into the thoughts and feelings of both parties, while staying neutral to the situation. Instead of acting like a problem solver, they act like a mediator. They know that there are always two sides to every story, and they help people see each other’s point of view and resolve their own problems.
Leaders that manage conflict confront it head on instead of letting it grow and fester. They know the most opportune time to resolve conflict is as soon as it begins. They believe the best time to confront something hard is now. When a conflict involves them personally, they take action to resolve whatever issues exist as soon as they become aware that something is amiss.
Leaders that manage conflict are able to hear hard messages without taking them personally or becoming offended. They are quick to give people the benefit of the doubt. They have the ability to maintain a cool head when others might become insulted. They move forward instead of holding onto grudges.
Leaders that manage conflict have the desire to create true win-win outcomes. They know that a key to managing conflict is compromise. They are open to the needs and wishes of others. They know that if they are realistic in their expectations, those on the other side of the confrontation will more likely meet them half way.
BELIEFS
- Conflict is a normal part of being human and an outcome of bringing diverse people together to accomplish a shared task.
- Healthy conflict can actually be viewed as a positive instead of a negative if it is managed appropriately.
- Conflict is best resolved quickly. The more time a leader takes to resolve contention the less likely they will be to succeed.
- When managed the right way, differences of opinion clashing together can spawn creativity and break-through thinking.
- You are not going to get along with or agree with everyone all the time, so you need to learn to manage conflict well.
- Conflict only becomes a problem when the words or actions that come with it are taken personally and you choose to be offended.
- The right answer will most often be somewhere right between two people’s differing ways of interpreting a situation.
- Conflict can always be overcome as long as people are more interested in compromise than they are in being right.
BEST PRACTICES
- Do more than hope conflict will go away.
- Accept conflict as a normal part of life.
- Agree to disagree but still be productive.
- Encourage conflict resolution.
- Don’t fear contention, face it.
- Set your sights on win-win outcomes.
- Openly discuss controversial issues.
- Prevent conflict when it can be avoided.
- Maintain a positive attitude through conflict.
- Do not shy away from heavy conflict.
- Pick which battles to fight and ignore.
- Take the time to listen to other’s point of view.
- Don’t get overly emotional.
- Don’t end conflict just to escape discomfort.
- Share your ideas without attacking other people.
- Don’t let conflict deter you from what is right.
- Knows when to let go of a conflict and move on.
- Anticipate potential conflict situations.
- Don’t take conflict personally.
- Be quick to forgive and just move forward.
- Be about doing what is right, not just winning.
- Involve the right people in resolution efforts.
SELF-REFLECTION
- Do I see conflict as a potentially positive tool for growth, or do I try and avoid it at all costs?
- Do I stay above the fray and avoid becoming too emotional, or do I lose control of my emotions in conflict situations?
- Do I play the role of mediator and help people resolve their issues, or do I try to resolve their issues for them?
- Do I tackle conflict head-on, or do I let conflict grow and fester until it is deeper and harder to resolve?
- Do I “clear the air” with those who feel conflict with me, or do I expect them to take the first step?
- Do I quickly move on when contentious moments end, or do I hold onto negative feelings too long?
- Do I dissipate conflict situations by seeking for win-win outcomes, or do I extend them through my pride?
- Do I accept that contention will always be part of the workplace equation, or do I wish it would just go away?
- Don’t become the “go to” person that is asked to solve everyone’s problems, burying you in their issues.
- Don’t resolve a conflict when the people involved need to be responsible for their own conflict resolution.
- Don’t be such a peacemaker that you can’t take hard stands and fight for the issues you care about deeply.
- Conflict often creates the best solutions.
- Some tension is needed to keep everyone moving forward.
- I often find myself helping people work through their issues with each other.
- I can agree to disagree and not take it personally.
- Even when there is tension, I have a positive demeanor.
- My team knows when something is really important to me.