LISTEN OPENLY
WHY IT MATTERS
Before people can be led, they must be understood. It is hard to lead a complete stranger. If a leader doesn’t understand what their people think, feel, need, or want they will never know how to personally and most effectively lead them and help them succeed. The type of understanding and insight a leader needs only comes as they truly listen to what their people have to say through both their verbal spoken language and their non-verbal ques. Their goal is to understand their people, not just listen to them. Leaders who listen to their people connect with them in a way that gives them the ability to fully direct their work. Leaders who don’t listen to their people risk becoming disconnected from them.
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
Leaders that excel at listening to their people know that to really comprehend someone it means doing more than just listening. It means tuning everything else out and really focusing on what people are trying to say. They know that more often than not disagreement and contention between people come from misunderstandings, and not complete differences of opinion. They know good communication can be elusive, and try their best to listen well.
Leaders that listen effectively have the self-control to focus on what people are saying while they are talking. They don’t get distracted. When they aren’t sure if they understand a person correctly, they ask questions to clarify their intent. They avoid letting their minds wonder during conversation. While others are talking they don’t turn their thoughts to other things. When they are with people they put away things that could cause distraction and draw their focus away from the person and conversation directly in front of them.
Leaders that know how to listen pay attention to people’s body language to help them gain added insight into what they are trying to say. They listen as carefully to people’s nonverbal expressions as they do to the actual words they say. They perceive people’s feelings, emotions, and underlying meaning through their physical gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, bodily posture, and overall demeanor. They control their own body language and non-verbal expressions to show they are invested in the conversation. They look at people when they are talking, sit upright, and signal their investment and interest in the conversation.
Leaders that are effective listeners let others finish expressing their thoughts and feelings before sharing their reaction. Instead of forming their responses in their minds while other people are talking they force themselves to cue in to what the other person is saying. They wait to formulate and express their opinions until after others are finished sharing. They want to make sure they don’t miss something important due to their own diverted thinking.
Leaders that are good listeners set the stage for listening by being available to talk with people in the first place. They create a safe environment where people feel comfortable approaching them and opening up about what is really on their minds. They make it known that their door is wide open and people can talk with them about anything at any time.
BELIEFS
BEST PRACTICES
SELF-REFLECTION
Before people can be led, they must be understood. It is hard to lead a complete stranger. If a leader doesn’t understand what their people think, feel, need, or want they will never know how to personally and most effectively lead them and help them succeed. The type of understanding and insight a leader needs only comes as they truly listen to what their people have to say through both their verbal spoken language and their non-verbal ques. Their goal is to understand their people, not just listen to them. Leaders who listen to their people connect with them in a way that gives them the ability to fully direct their work. Leaders who don’t listen to their people risk becoming disconnected from them.
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
Leaders that excel at listening to their people know that to really comprehend someone it means doing more than just listening. It means tuning everything else out and really focusing on what people are trying to say. They know that more often than not disagreement and contention between people come from misunderstandings, and not complete differences of opinion. They know good communication can be elusive, and try their best to listen well.
Leaders that listen effectively have the self-control to focus on what people are saying while they are talking. They don’t get distracted. When they aren’t sure if they understand a person correctly, they ask questions to clarify their intent. They avoid letting their minds wonder during conversation. While others are talking they don’t turn their thoughts to other things. When they are with people they put away things that could cause distraction and draw their focus away from the person and conversation directly in front of them.
Leaders that know how to listen pay attention to people’s body language to help them gain added insight into what they are trying to say. They listen as carefully to people’s nonverbal expressions as they do to the actual words they say. They perceive people’s feelings, emotions, and underlying meaning through their physical gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, bodily posture, and overall demeanor. They control their own body language and non-verbal expressions to show they are invested in the conversation. They look at people when they are talking, sit upright, and signal their investment and interest in the conversation.
Leaders that are effective listeners let others finish expressing their thoughts and feelings before sharing their reaction. Instead of forming their responses in their minds while other people are talking they force themselves to cue in to what the other person is saying. They wait to formulate and express their opinions until after others are finished sharing. They want to make sure they don’t miss something important due to their own diverted thinking.
Leaders that are good listeners set the stage for listening by being available to talk with people in the first place. They create a safe environment where people feel comfortable approaching them and opening up about what is really on their minds. They make it known that their door is wide open and people can talk with them about anything at any time.
BELIEFS
- If someone feels heard they will feel appreciated. If someone feels appreciated they will give more of themselves to their work.
- If someone doesn’t feel like you ever listen to them don’t expect them to ever have much to say to you.
- People are smart enough to not waste their time speaking to deaf ears. Especially if those deaf ears belong to their leader.
- If you make it safe for people to talk to you, they will. People will not talk to their leader unless they feel safe to do so.
- Everyone has something to say, but most people will only take the time to say it if they think their thoughts are wanted.
- You need to really understand someone before you can ever hope they understand you.
- If you stop listening to people you will cut off your lifeline to the organization.
- People are always talking. The question is if they choose to talk to you.
BEST PRACTICES
- Take the time to talk to people.
- Listen to what people say and don’t say.
- Be mentally present in all your conversations.
- Spend the energy to communicate well.
- Desire to sincerely understand other people.
- Show through your body language you care.
- Avoid being distracted during conversations.
- Make time to talk to people.
- End conversations with gratitude and thanks.
- Be attentive when people are speaking.
- Let people know you are available to listen.
- Avoid using electronic devices while talking.
- Show gratitude to people for opening up.
- Restate what is said to ensure understanding.
- Give employees equal chances to talk with you.
- Don’t ever be too busy to listen to someone else.
- Try to listen to all levels of the organization.
- Wait for people to finish before you talk.
- Make it safe for people to speak up.
- Ask clarifying questions to ensure understanding.
- Doesn’t cut people short in your conversations.
- Hone your non-verbal communications.
SELF-REFLECTION
- Do I want to listen to what people have to say, or do I really just want them to listen to me?
- Do I make the effort to communicate well, or do I see effective communication as just a big a drain of energy?
- Do I focus on what people are saying when they are talking, or do I allow my mind to wonder to other things?
- Do I ask questions to ensure I have understood people correctly, or do I just assume I know what they meant to say?
- Do I avoid distractions that could take away my focus while others are speaking, or do I allow my attention to be stolen?
- Do I pay careful consideration to people’s non-verbal communication, or do I just pay attention to their words?
- Do I let other people finish expressing their thoughts before forming my own, or do I respond too quickly?
- Do I make it safe for people to talk to me, or do I intimidate people and make them overly cautious?
- Don’t spend so much time listening to other people that you sacrifice the time you need to do your own work.
- Don’t become such a crutch for people that you become the person they lean on instead of taking responsibility for their own life.
- Don’t falsely listen to people when you already have your mind made up about what to do in a specific situation.
- My door is always open.
- One of my pet-peeves is when someone finishes my sentences.
- Some of my best ideas came from someone else.
- If my employee(s) are talking, I refuse to check my text messages.
- I reward those that tell me how things are.
- If they tell me once, I’ll remember their name.